Comment fic trackking: pilot scene angst

Pilots scenes that could have been different?

MAELSTROM

Kara sits in her cockpit, her breaths shallow and ragged. Her helmet is cracked, and somewhere in the back of her mind she knows it's a miracle her bird landed on the deck and didn't just disintegrate into a thousand pieces....

The explosion flashes behind her eyes and she knows she's going to be sick. She barely manages to take off her helmet before emptying the contents of her stomach all over the controls. She thinks she's still gagging, but realizes that she's in fact sobbing as some lifts her out of the mess of her cockpit. She continues to gasp for air as the silent (too silent, why is it so damn QUIET?) hangar desk materializes beneath her.

Someone else (Cally, maybe?) helps her to her feet and she into the nearest head. Carefully, Kara washes off her flight suit, not daring to look up into the mirror. The scene plays again in her mind and she collapses to her knees again. She wonders for a minute how she can still hear his screams when she realizes that she's the one that's screaming, the sound echoing back at her accusingly.

You did this.

You denied destiny.

This is your fault.

Leoben (not Leoben?) glares at her from the darkened corner.

There are consequences.

Kara had listened to Lee out there. She'd pulled back at the last minute, her bird wrenching by some miracle (curse) out of the swirling mandala.

Lee hadn't.

He'd been following her. And she'd watched in horror as his bird exploded into a million brilliant pieces.

She was going to be sick again, but there wasn't anything in her. So she sat, gasping on the floor for who knows how long, alone with the knowledge of what she'd done.

She didn't notice when he'd come in. But he sat beside her, pulled her into his arms and cried on her neck. The Admiral's only son was dead. She wanted to push him away, didn't want him to touch her.

She'd rebelled against her destiny. She'd wanted to live, thought she couldn't leave Lee and the Old Man and the little she still had in her life.

There was a price for her disobedience.

This was her fault.

Now, she wanted nothing more than to be dead.

Now, it wouldn't change a thing.

***END**

SIX OF ONE
Lee shifted from one foot to another nervously.

It wasn't anything he hadn't done before. Hell, the time before it had been more of a long shot, with much much steeper repercussions.

This should be cake. Easy.

His hands were sweating annoying, so he shoved them into he pockets of his pants, trying to remain as casual as possible. maybe this was the problem. Whatever his feelings were towards the service now, there was something about the uniform that made him confident, let him really believe that he was doing the right thing for the right reasons.

Maybe the problem was that the uniform he wore now was full of doubt.

He strolled as casually as he could into the cell, somewhat alarmed that the guard hadn't checked him for any weapons.

The cell door closed behind him, but didn't lock.

Interesting.

This might be easier than he thought.

Kara looked up at him from her position on the other side of the cell. She smiled sadly. "Hey."

It brought a lump to his throat to hear her voice again. "Hey," he managed, returning her smile.

She'd been crying. He could tell by her red rimmed eyes and the shakiness of her breathing, but he didn't come any closer to her. There she was, back from the dead, real, alive, and he couldn't come any closer. He can't do anything but stare at the floor.

"So, I...I heard that you were leaving," she breaks the silence in a soft voice. She's looking right at him, he knows, but he still can't meet her gaze.

"Ummm, yeah. Yeah, I am," he chuckles a bit, taking advantage of the akwardness to glance at the rest of their surroundings. Only one guard in the cell. One outside.

"You're going to be Zarek's wingman," she teases, and he looks at her then, her smile real and genuine.

He wants to kiss her.

"Stow it, ok," he says with a laugh. "I've gotten enough from everyone else."

They go silent again, and his shoes scuff the floor. This is it. He's got to let her in on it.

"You know, I think I understand what you mean now," he starts, catching and holding her gaze. She head tilts quizzically. The soft smile hasn't left her face, but he can see her pushing back tears. "About having a destiny."

She lets out a short laugh. "Yeah, well," she lifts her hands to her surroundings. "It's a glamorous gig."

He remains serious. "This is something I have to do."

Her eyes are back to his and her smile has dissolved and she sits up a little straighter. She's reading him again, and her eyes slightly widen.

Slowly and deliberately, she stands up, closing the space between them as she extends her hand. "Good luck, Lee Adama." She thinks he's crazy. He might be.

He doesn't care.

He places her hand in hers, holding it firmly. "You too, Kara Thrace."

She holds his eyes and for a split second he thinks that she might back out. But she gives his hand a squeeze and he knows she'll follow where he leads.

It's ironic.

He lets go of her and turns to the guard, who moves to open the (unlocked) cell door. In a flash, the man on the ground at his feet, and Kara was stepping over the unconscious man.

Before he knows it, he's pulled Kara in close, kissing her full on and she's clinging to him, pent up longing unfurling in a rush of relief and adrenaline.

"You are beyond insane, you know that, right," she breathes as he continues to kiss her forehead, her cheeks, her neck.

"You forget, I've done this before," he whispers against her skin before pulling back to give her a grin. "Breaking people out of the brig has become a nasty habit."

She shakes her head at him in disbelief as he handed her the guard's weapon.

"Lee Adama, mutinying at inappropriate times," she says as the walk towards the door.

"Kara," he stops to catch her gaze, making sure she understands what he's doing. "I believe you."

She sobers and swallows thickly, nearly holding her breath.

"He's going to believe you too," Lee goes on. "We're going to show him."

She blinks away more tears and nods curtly, gripping the gun in her hands tighter. "I'll cover your six, Apollo."

His mouth quirks into a smile. "Missed you, Starbuck."

***END***

Comment fic trackking: what poof?

N_T Prompt: Poof? What poof?

Kara lifted her hand to her eyes, blocking out the bright glare of the sun as she stared out into the open blue sky.

She'd been walking for hours now, and still no sign of her camp. She bit her lip and pulled out the map she'd been working on, a rolled up hide of an animal skinned long ago.

"Frak," she muttered as she stared at the map, and back up at her landscape. Trees, trees and more trees. Oh, look, there's a rock. One she'd never seen before. Great.

"Starbuck, what's your 20?" the voice that she heard in her ear nearly made her jump. It had been so long since she'd used a comm, it was strange to remember she wasn't truly alone.

"I have no frakking idea, Apollo," she responded, finally sitting down on the rock before her and giving her feet a well deserved rest. "I think I took a wrong turn somewhere."

"Roger that. Can you tell me which direction you went after the last marker?"

Kara stared at her map, looking at the last discernible point before the big blank space. "Once I passed the waterfall, I headed directly south, about five clicks and then headed west. I thought I'd end up hitting the camp after walking half a click, but I think that the map is wrong."

She knew Lee was staring at his own version of her map. A few months ago, they'd decided to put themselves to good use and actually map out the area they'd been exploring the last year.

"Helo, could you fly by 7 clicks south west of marker 8? Report if you get a visual on Starbuck."

"Copy that, Apollo," Karl's voice came through. "ETA, five minutes."

Kara laid back on the rock beneath her, the warmth of it against her back as she stared up at the sky once again. Birds around her were chirping, a sound that she had never thought about never hearing again. It was like wading rivers, or the smell of dew in the morning. She used to long for the cold emptiness of space, the freedom it symbolized, the lack of restraints of gravity. Now, she wanted nothing more than to be grounded, to feel the solidity of the earth beneath her feet, the reality of her world.

She heard the sound of the engines approaching as Helo did a broad sweep of the area with the raptor. She raised her face up to the rushing wind that had picked up and waved up at him.

"Hiya, 'Buck," he said in her ear. "Looks like you are way off the reservation."

She flipped him off before rolling up her map. "Are you here to give me a ride or what?" she asked through the comm.

"Nearly on bingo fuel," he chuckled. "But I think you can make it from here. Apollo, Helo. Got a 20 on Starbuck. She's half a click south of base camp position."

"Copy that, Helo. Starbuck, come on home."

"Yes, Sir," she snapped off a salute he couldn't see and jumped from her rock, heading in the direction that she now knew to be right.

In no time at all, she saw the clearing through the trees, and the base camp just beyond. Lee was coming towards her, catching up with her just within the tree line. He swept her into his arms and kissed her firmly.

"Nice to see you too, Major," she said with a smile before kissing him back.

"What took you so long?"

"I guess you lost me,"she said with a playful grin as he kissed her neck, his hands wandering possessively. "Hey, shouldn't we go back to camp or something?"

"No," he stopped and looked at her seriously. His eyes took on a momentary panic. "And I can't lose you. Do you understand? Next time, I'm coming with you."

She didn't like it when he looked at her like that...like his entire world revolved around her and he would be lost without her. Sam would look at her like that. But not Lee. He was stronger than that. Or at least, he used to be.

She hugged him then, lightly kissing his temple. "I'm here." And trying to lighten the mood, she waggled her eyebrows suggestively at him. "Now you can have your way with me."

"Listen, whatever you guys end up doing, could you please do it off comms?" Helo's voice piped up in their ears.

They laughed at that. "Common, Helo. You know you're a sneaky little perv that would love to listen in," Kara quipped.

"Please, 'Buck. I have something better at home. Don't need to listen to you two," Helo retorted, sounding slightly insulted.

"Who knows, maybe Sharon would appreciate you picking up some pointers," Kara was saying even as Lee shook his head.

"Thanks, Helo. Apollo and Starbuck out."

They turned off their comms then, and Lee took Kara's hand, walking side by side with her to base camp.

This was grounding to her, having someone that depended so much on her continued existence. Maybe it was something they'd have to work at still. Lee was stronger than this. but after everything he'd lost, she could give him this even for a little while.

Kara squeezed his hand tighter and walked on.


***end***

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